Gethsemane
by StrangerEmotion
Summary: Post HBP Song!fic. HGSS. If there was one thing she learned from Harry, it was that rules were for breaking.


**GETHSEMANE**

A tale by Jonna Wilharm

A song by Nightwish

Characters by J.K. Rowling

No money made

**Toll no bell for me Father  
But let this cup of suffering pass from me   
Send me no shepherd to heal my world  
But the Angel - the dream foretold  
Prayed more than thrice for You to see  
The wolf of loneliness in me  
...not my own will but Yours be done...**

Brother Raziel welcomed the man out of the rain, drenched and travel weary. No words that would be in the end a trivial mess, were spoken. A kindly guide to a warm, dry room with the voiceless promise of food. The bed was a simple cot, the room was not more than a walk in closet, and the heat came from the smallest of stoves. But when a man has nothing in the world, save his own skin, even the dirtiest conditions can seem bearable. This was his new sanctuary for the rest of his days. The murderer turned monk.

It would be many years later that he would see one of his own kind again. For now he would live in companionable silence. Here he could think over his life, put some order to it, grieve for his losses, and atone for his sins. In these mountains he could remember his last hope in the world. The student he made lose faith in him, Hermione.

In his dreams he saw her and Albus smiling at him, both exceedingly healthy. She would wave to him and tell him ten thousand things she knew about love. Mostly chemical mumbo jumbo that had nothing whatsoever to do with the actuality of the matter. He would tell her that, though she knew ten thousand things, only 0.9 of her assumptions were correct. She would chew on her bottom lip nervously then declare, 'I know I love you.' He could only smile at the beautiful simplicity of her. In his dreams she was always an Angel that he was seconds from touching.

**You wake up where's the tomb?  
Will Easter come, enter my room?  
The Lord weeps with me  
But my tears fall for you**

Brother Snape opened the large doors of the monastery to a curly haired woman in her thirties he would imagine. Though he couldn't remember much what women of certain ages looked like anymore, after living with his brethren. The woman gasped and looked at him hard, as if she had seen a ghost. "Pardon!" She said in a voice he faintly remembered, "I think I am not mistaken -- your name is, or used to be Severus Snape?"

He couldn't say to her any words, only nod gracefully. She brightened even at that. Then, realizing who he used to be, and what he had done in the past she darkened. "You took the oath and cannot speak to me?" Nod. "You realize the Ministry is still looking for you. I could turn you in for a hefty sum." He inquired after that with a simple gaze. He had lost much of what had made him imposing. His hair was short and peppery, his eyes now seemed less deep, even his height had slightly diminished. And his voice, his haunting voice is silenced forever. "Y-You murdered my hero, Mr. Snape. And yet I can't help but feel the whole story is lost on your lips for good. I need you to tell me I can still trust you."

He said nothing and guided her to his room. Inside he pointed to a volume as thick as a textbook. There wasn't a title, but she knew it was a confession. He nodded for her to read and left the room.

Each page was numbered precisely and, with a quick flip to the back, she counted 656 pages of Snape's life. "I guess he had time on his hands," She said, "And in two more days the statute will run out on an automatic death sentence. Though, staying alive in Azkaban isn't a cruise in the Bahamas either. Right. Reading time." She ploughed into it with fervor.

'This is my story. I can't move you to pardon me, but this story isn't about that. This is just a simple diary I kept up over the years. Don't expect for every page to be an apology, don't expect that you will feel sorry for me. You might end up more angry. I can't blame you for that. The first hundred pages explain my childhood, all the way up to the end of school. The next two hundred are about my death eater days. Then two hundred pages about my spying and teaching. The last pages describe the murder of the headmaster and my defection to this place. While you read, all I ask is that you don't look for things that are not there.'

She looked at the first few entries, recopied precisely onto the parchment in the clearest handwriting she has yet seen him possess. 

"1960 June 13,

I got this new book today with no words. I am told to write in it by my mother. She says it is important to remember the past by forgetting it in a book. I don't know what to write. I don't know what I can write. Daddy

1963 January 8,

I will be going to Hogwarts soon. I thought that I had lost this old book. I guess not. Well, I still am confused on what to write. But at least I can now make more understandable thoughts. Mom wants me to be in Slytherin, I guess that is what I will be. Dad doesn't care, he doesn't understand. He never understood why magic is important to us. He is secretly afraid I think. I think he is weak. Mom has been giving me lessons. I made this frog twitch terribly last week. It was so funny. He hops around in our garden now in circles. I am sure he will die soon. Stupid frog.

1963 May 23,

I saw my dad beat mommy. I saw him. I can't believe he stood up to her. He stood up to her and now she is bleeding and crying. I didn't know that fists could overcome wands. Mom wouldn't even raise hers against him. I don't know why she couldn't just curse his ass into the ground. She is weak too. Mommy isn't an angel anymore. No, she can't sing me to sleep with a busted lip. Only I am strong. I will show them. I just have to keep my head high."

**Another Beauty  
Loved by a Beast  
Another tale of infinite dreams  
Your eyes they were my paradise  
Your smile made my sun rise**

Brother Snape and the others were out working in the garden, it was a time for stirring the hard earth in preparation for the new crop. Brother Raziel approached Brother Snape as the sun began to set in the west, it was time to chant. The only words he spoke now. The other brethren followed them to the shack to put up the equipment, then to the baths, and finally into the cathedral. Inside, Hermione already sat waiting for him. She must have finished reading his diary. He couldn't read her face and he felt the nervous flutter in his stomach. She was facing the Virgin Mother and she appeared to be praying. They started their benediction with Brother Raziel leading: 

"Glory to God, the Most High, the Supreme and Eternal!" 

And in one balanced murmur of accord the brethren replied: 

"GLORY FOR EVER AND EVER! AMEN!"

"Glory to God, the Ruler of Spirits and Master of Angels!"

"GLORY FOR EVER AND EVER! AMEN!"

"Glory to God who in love never wearies of loving!"

"GLORY FOR EVER AND EVER! AMEN!"

"Glory to God in the Name of His Christ our Redeemer!"

"GLORY FOR EVER AND EVER! AMEN!" 

"Glory to God for the joys of the Past, the Present and Future!"

"GLORY FOR EVER AND EVER! AMEN!" 

"Glory to God for the Power of Will and the working of Wisdom!"

"GLORY FOR EVER AND EVER! AMEN!" 

"Glory to God for the briefness of life, the gladness of death, and the promised Immortal Hereafter!"

"GLORY FOR EVER AND EVER! AMEN!"

They finished and everyone filed out except for Brother Snape. He waited and looked to her to speak, he was at once afraid and hopeful. She stood from her prayer, a little creaky and unsteady, and approached him. Her eyes shocked him when he saw them, they held such emotion and absolutely no judgement. It seemed almost godly to the monk, her forgiveness was like an answered prayer. "Severus," She whispered this to him, "I have to know where Albus is hiding. You both tricked us all for so long. Where is he? Why?"

All he could do was smile and point to his heart. She looked so sad as she remembered his oath. She looked like she was trying to come up with a solution he would finally approve. "This oath, is it that important to you? What is the point? Is it gratitude that keeps you here, or fear of the outside? Come with me, we have to prove your innocence." 

Brother Raziel spoke to her from the balcony, "Glory to God for the Power of Will and the working of Wisdom!"

She took out her wand and put Severus in magical cuffs. "You have to come with me. It is the law." He was pulled behind her till they got outside, at which point she apparated with him to her home. She needed more time to crack him, alone.

**Forgive me for I don't know what I gain  
Alone in this garden of pain   
Enchantment has but one truth:  
I weep to have what I fear to lose**

Hermione Granger opened the door to her one bedroom flat next to the MOM building and suddenly realized she had no where to keep Snape. The second thing she realized was that he wasn't, technically, allowed to be kept here against his will. The first problem she could fix with a few modifications on her couch, and the second she would just ignore for now. If there was one thing she learned from Harry, it was that rules were for breaking.

Professor Snape would have disdainfully criticized her housekeeping skills upon entering her home, but this new Snape just looked at everything to take stock of it. He even pointed out her clay figurine of Crookshanks with some interest. He had a half smile, as if remembering the cat-kneazle fondly. He then looked at her mantelpiece pictures. In particular the large painting featuring Harry, Ron, Neville, Luna, Ginny, and her. There was a slight quirk in his eyebrow when he looked at Harry, but it was nothing more than recognition. This new Snape seemed completely devoid of strong emotions, it was unsettling.

She felt the need to talk about her friends since he was so quiet, "Harry and Ginny are married now, they have a sweet little girl. He named her Lily. You should see how he looks at his little girl, it is heartbreaking. She looks like his mum in a very striking way. I feel sorry for that girl, I really do. Ginny has tried to tell him many times that the baby can't be like his mum... Luna, well... She is doing fine. But I don't know if she is trying to be weird or she is that weird. Neville has been trying to break through her shell since the battle. He has been doing quite a lot in the field of Psychology.. I never knew he was that smart... I underestimated everyone really.. A- And Ron... I think he is in Egypt with Parvati. I.. I wonder if he even misses the rest of us."

She became silent and then set about cleaning the living room of the papers and other trash, unknowing of the tears on her cheeks. She could see Snape out of the corner of her eye helping her pick up some things. The old Snape would have criticized her muggle way of cleaning up, yet here this new Snape had his elbows all the way in her trash. 'How he has changed, it is almost pitiful.'

For a moment the real Snape flashed in his eyes and she knew how to break him. Pity. He hated it. If she could act like she thought he was helpless, his pride would resurface in a blaze of glory.

**You wake up where's the tomb?  
Will Easter come, enter my room?  
The Lord weeps with me  
But my tears fall for you**

Unfortunately not all plans can be carried out fully. But she was on the edge, the very edge of cracking him. How ironic that she should not even be punished for keeping him against his will. The trial will be a sham, no doubt, and she really didn't feel like going. If she didn't see him go in, she could pretend he was still at the monastery.

She felt she had betrayed him, this man she had thought to be a monster. Now she is lying in bed with the drapes pulled tight against the sun, knowing where she went wrong. But not willing to admit it. The old Hermione would have tried to get him free, through any means possible. The new Hermione can't move when the chips are truly down. 'Pathetic. Hermione, you are pathetic. Your old crush broke your heart and now you can't even get out of bed to save his life. Miserable wench. Why can't you do something against the government? Why not stand up for him?'

Her feet slid out from under the sweltering covers, sweaty and white, and onto the dingy brown carpet. She stood up, got dressed, and brought with her to the trial room the diary of Severus Snape.

"Wait! Ladies and Gentlemen, I have something to say on behalf of this man!" The crowd turned to look at her, then looked at the large tome she was swinging. "He never killed Albus Dumbledore!" Gasp. "My Headmaster for six years has been living in exile, much like Severus Snape here, since his FAKED death. We only need to find where the master wizard has gone!" Disbelieving murmurs went throughout the room. Some people looked at her, and then Snape hopefully.

One man stood up, she knew it to be Harry, "Hermione, can you tell us how and where? If this is true we need to stop the trial and find Albus." Other people agreed with him.

"I don't know Harry. But Snape does. Only, he has taken an oath of silence with the brotherhood. If we can get him to speak.. We can finally have our Headmaster back."

There was one way, but it was dark magic that Voldemort used. "There is something we can do. Imperius. It is not as if his rights are at stake." Harry spoke what everyone was thinking.

**"I knew you never before  
I see you never more  
But the love the pain the hope O beautiful one  
Have made you mine 'till all my years are done"**

In three days, with multiple Imperius' on him, Severus Snape broke his oath and blurted out these first words with the same scathing tone he had possessed years ago, it was almost as if he hadn't changed, "I wish Albus really had died because of me. He was just another master pulling my strings! And all of you wish him back. I tell you he is too powerful for this world. Leave him at the bottom of that godforsaken Lake with his mermen!"

And so a team of ten Aurors went to collect Albus Dumbledore. They found him, but he was a hard one to bring to the surface. Once he was he went peacefully enough to the court house to speak on behalf of Severus Snape. Then the paparazzi began their assault on him. Snape was pardoned and forgotten. While Albus, who had been hiding for years, was given all the attention. It was how it always was with Snape.

Snape, now not a monk, trudged around London with no idea of where he could go next. He had hidden for so many years with the thought that those were his final days. He felt like a recently graduated wizard again. He wasn't sure where he belonged. As he walked it began to sprinkle. A voice called out to him from a balcony window. He looked up into Hermione's face. She was smiling and gesturing for him to come inside. Those rosy lips made him wish he could fly up to her. He scaled the stairs instead, reaching her door within 30 seconds. She opened the door before he knocked and flew into his arms. The breath he had been holding escaped in a rush and he smiled unconsciously. 

He felt the dream of his solitary days vanish and he closed the door to the past with an air of finality. Inside her apartment he could be himself and more. Feeling the emotions he thought he had buried, he dropped to kiss her impertinent nose but met warm lips instead. After a minute of abandon, he pulled back. "What do you know of love, Hermione?"

She smiled, eyes half closed but warm, and said genuinely, "I know I love you Severus. It might not have been love at first sight. Nor as sudden as a summer rain. But I know I do. I feel it where nothing else matters." 

The lightning struck close to the open window, and the sound of thunder flooded the room. He heard nothing but her sweet breath in ecstacy, because he held his angel in his arms. Bushy hair and all. 

**Without you  
The poetry within me is dead**


End file.
